Following to Lead: A Strong Connection

I figured I should probably explain why the blog is titled "Following to Lead".  It's something that's been in my mind quite a bit for a quite a while (specific time frames, I know).  Benjamin Franklin said "The only things certain in life are death and taxes".  Franklin was a pretty smart guy, way smarter than I, but I propose another certainty.  I propose that no matter what we do, there will be those we follow and those we lead.

Regardless how much of an "individual" someone is and regardless how much they say "I don't follow people, I make my own path" they still follow.  It may be true that they don't follow as closely, but I guarantee there is someone in their life that they look at and think "I want to do that", "I hope I can do that for others like they did".  There are characteristics that we admire in others, characteristics that we try to emulate, characteristics that we try to pick up.  Conversely, there are also those that we strive to not follow, those that show the traits we try to ensure we don't have.  Nonetheless, we all follow someone (or multiple someone's).  Who do you follow?  (Yes, the "Sunday School Answer" is Jesus, and that is a great example to follow, but think of someone currently living, someone in your life today).  It's not likely that there will be one person who you desire to emulate in every single characteristic.  For example, I have friends that are adventurous and care-free - I need more of that in my life.  I have family who love regardless of situation and extend love deeper than I've ever seen - I try to love like that.  I have colleagues who have strong relationships with nearly every student they teach - I strive to make those connections.  I look up to these individuals and I follow them; I learn from them; I connect with them; I rely on them.  What about you, who are you following?

Like it or not, we are all followed. No, I'm not talking about being followed by the government or spies or aliens or anything weird and creepy.  I'm talking about truly followed.  Even the kid in school that everyone picks on and puts down, the "weird kid" in class, the "bad one", or the "nerdy co-worker", everyone is followed.  There is someone who looks up to each one of us.  Whether it's a younger sibling/family member, a child, a friend, another "weird kid" or another "bad kid", there is someone who watches us and follows us.  Therefore, since we are followed, by proxy we are leaders.  It's up to us to decide what type of leader we are.  There are leaders that people admire, respect, and emulate; and there are leaders that people follow so they can do the opposite, for examples of what they should not do.  What examples are we setting?  Regardless what type of leader we are we will make mistakes.  Part of being a leader is how we react to those mistakes, and how we recover.  Do mistakes or stumbles keep us knocked down?  Make us angry?  Make us stronger?  Do we learn from them or repeat them?  Being a leader can be tough and can bring pressure.  But like it or not you are a leader and unless you go live in a hole by yourself, you can't change it. (Even then someone would know about and it'd be all over the news and someone else would want to try!). Whether we know when is following us or not, we are being followed.  The sooner we accept the fact that we are leaders and decide how we will lead the bigger the impact we can have.

So we all follow, and we all lead.  But there's a strong connection between the two.  They type of leaders we follow impacts the type of leader we become which determines the type of followers we get.  We follow people because we see something special in them and we strive to have that same special trait or characteristic.  By striving to have that characteristic, it will become a part of who we are as a leader.  Then, some individuals who see that in us will want to follow to us just like we followed our leaders.  Deciding who we follow is an important decision, the impact goes much deeper than just ourselves, it impacts those who we lead.

We follow to lead.  What do you want those looking up to and following you to learn, experience, and become?  Loving deeply, living extremely, or believing strongly; whatever it may be, seek that out in who you follow.  Who you follow determines who and how you lead.

The idea of following to lead is continually moving to the forefront of my thinking and decisions.  I strive to follow great leaders so that I may become a great leader for those who follow, and so they may be great leaders for their followers. It's an empowering concept think about. Whether you're frequently around children, adults, or the elderly the impact is the same.  Those that we lead will then become leaders and lead others; the impact we can have as a leader is quite extensive, and we may not even know how far it goes!  Just imagine what could happen if more people lived with the realization that who the follow determines who they lead!  (I don't want to have continually insecure, rude, disrespectful, irresponsible people following me and learning those traits from me, and I don't think anyone else does either....)  It can be a daunting, terrifying thought, with intense pressure, or  it can be a simple, easy, and enjoyable task; the choice is yours.

Living Intentionally

I want to live my life intentionally.  I want to worship intentionally.  I want to love intentionally.  I desire and strive to have an intentional relationship with God.    Do we go to worship simply because that's what we do on Sunday mornings?  Do we tell someone we love them out of habit? Do we comfort and hug friends who are struggling because we like to feel needed and we don't know what else to do?  What are our intentions behind these things?  It's not simply just about attending worship, telling those you're close with that you love them or comforting friends when they cry.

I'll admit that when I worship my heart isn't always there.  I don't always go in to it seeking to get something out of it.  Sometimes I'm unfocused. Sometimes I begin thinking of everything else I need to do.  Sometimes I sing the songs simply because they're projected on the screen or just because I know the words.  I long for every time of worship to begin with an open, clear, focused heart and mind. Sometime I wonder - How often do we go to worship with a completely open heart and mind?  Do we raise our hands because that is what everyone around us is doing or do we raise our hands in surrender to Him?  Are we there with a purpose or are we there so others can see us and check our name off the attendance?  What are our intentions in worship?

When someone says "I love you" to us, do we respond with intention, meaning, and feeling behind our "I love you too" - or do we say it out of habit?  Has it become an automatic reflex that we say without even thinking?  Do we intentionally love them back?  Do we take the time to show that love to them?  Is there purpose and meaning behind our response or is it simply words out of our mouth? Those three words should be reserved for special, meaningful, deep relationships.  I'm not referring only to romantic relationships - but all relationships in life - parents, siblings, friends, spouses, etc.  Society seems to throw these words around and they've lost meaning, there seems to be a confusion between the words "like" and "love". There are middle school students who have been dating for a week who say "I love you" to each other.  These words used to mean more than "you're cool".  Intentional love has meaning, it has a purpose, it holds value.

Intentional love means that no matter what dumb mistake they make, we will still be there for them.  No matter what choices they make, whether we agree with their choices or not, we won't give up on them and we won't leave them.  It means that times won't always be easy....there will be arguments and disagreements and struggles...but in return there will support and hugs, celebration and trust.   The point that society seems to have lost is that "like" can easily change - I used to like lemonade, now I cant stand to drink it.  Love doesn't change, it may grow stronger, but it doesn't change.  Gods love for me is real, it is intentional - it will not change.  Intentional, true, purposeful love does not just disappear one day, love is meant to only grow stronger.  Are we loving intentionally in relationships?

Intentional relationships require time.  We have to put in work and effort to gain results.  I want to have that intentional relationship with God. I don't want to "use Him and lose Him" by being intentional in my relationship with Him during struggles, but lose purpose when things are going well.  I want to be intentional about seeking Him, hanging out with Him and serving Him.  I don't simply want to do it because it's what I do.  

Sometimes I think we do things for so long that we forget why we started doing them in the first place and we begin doing them out of habit.  When I started leading the youth at church, I wanted to impact their lives, I wanted to be that person who could help guide them and let them find their way and shine their light and I wanted to be a positive example in their life.  I've only been doing it for 4 years, but there are times when I put together a lesson or a trip or an activity just because that's what we do.  Sometimes I forget to stop and take the time and think about if what I'm preparing is what they need, if there is a point to doing it, or why am I doing it.  We must remind ourselves why we have our relationship with God.  Take a second to think about communion.  In our church we take it once a month, the first Sunday of every month.  When we go up to take the communion, are we thinking about what that means or are we getting a snack because we're hungry?  Are we realizing what it symbolizes and taking time to think about what it truly means to accept communion? (Notice I said accept, it has been given to us, its not something we take, its a gift we accept).  What is it that started us on the path to a relationship with God?  Why do we pray to Him?  Do we have faith In our relationship with Him?  Why do we believe?  Why do we do what we do in our relationship with Him?

The word "intention" holds power and has the capability to change our entire way of thinking.  Why are we doing what we're doing?  Are we truly striving to be intentional about our actions, thoughts, words, and relationships?  Sometimes being intentional may mean watching less TV, spending less money, giving up "me" time, establishing boundaries, or even getting up 10 minutes earlier.  Being intentional requires us to make time and sacrifice some of our selfish desires....but the rewards will far outweigh the sacrifice.  When we're intentional or purposeful about these things they suddenly seem to have more meaning, more value, and we tend to take more care for them.  God is intentional about loving us.  It's time for us to wake up and start living life intentionally.